oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I need a beard to bite.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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