Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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