people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
