I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Randomize
