My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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