i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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