I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
