I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
