Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
