Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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