is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
