u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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