Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
