hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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