What did we do last night that was yellow?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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