did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
