i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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