PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
