College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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