you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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