So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
