dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
