I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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