I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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