Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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