I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
