Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
