Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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