do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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