So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
