Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
