Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
