he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
