so that wasnt chicken after all
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
