dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
