is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
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