I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She is in my trunk
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
