first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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