I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
