We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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