I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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