Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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