Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
