I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
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