That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
