as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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