there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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