I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
