Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
