I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
