wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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